Turkeys

[kinzel]

Having come to Maine with only a Gary Cooper movie intro to turkey hunting, I'm here to tell you that wild turkeys are outside the range of slow.  We came across a flock of turkey several evening ago, in the rain, at sundown, as they were crossing the road to get to the other side. Getting to the other side of places is what turkeys do for existence, after all ...

We came upon them just on the other side of the crest of a hill, in the midst of a curve -- and there were at least a dozen. My reaction, seeing turkeys to the left of me, turkeys to the right of me, turkey directly in front of me, and knowing that in the rain I was driving too fast to stop in time ...was to aim at *the turkey* in the middle of the road, who was a little distance down the road -- that was probably the guard turkey -- because the others dove away, those somewhat on the left to the left, those to the right down the embankment on the right ...
and while I didn't want to hit any of them, one was better than hitting them all if I rolled the Subaru doing  a stupid human trick ... so I did brake some and aim where I could and ... the turkey in front of me took flight and flew directly at the car,  clearing first the hood  by a foot or two and then the windshield ... by tailfeathers.

...

During the winter, especially the late winter, we have turkeys walk by the house -- within three feet or so -- regularly. Maybe I'll buy them a bushel of apples this year...

and oh yeah, the auction for the Candlelight papers us still in gear at ebay.

Comments

[jhetley.livejournal.com]

Turkeys are just as fast as they want to be. I have bicycled right through flocks crossing the road, and they glared at me. I have also had one brush my hood, windshield, and roof just like you describe. Not good for anyone with heart problems . . .

Turkey Humor - WKRP style

[redpimpernel.livejournal.com]

If you've got 13 minutes to kill and don't mind laughing out loud, click through, Turkeys Away. (http://www.hulu.com/watch/322/wkrp-in-cincinnati-turkeys-away) Start at 10:50 and watch through to the end. If you only have 16 seconds you can see the punch line below, but laughing aloud is not assured from that brief exposure.



I'm allowed to embed a Hulu clip in a post but not in a comment, don't know why. This episode is worth watching every Thanksgiving.

[martianmooncrab.livejournal.com]

you coulda gotten an early start on Thanksgiving...

[keristor.livejournal.com]

Try pheasants. Stupid birds with a death-wish, they run out into the road when they hear a car coming. They are however smaller than turkeys so do less damage to the car if hit. (In the UK, if you hit one then you aren't allowed to go and pick it up, to stop people from doing it deliberately. But if you find one dead in the road you /can/ pick it up and take it home to eat. This simply encourages drivers to go round in pairs, one to kill the birds and the other to pick them up...)

[https://me.yahoo.com/a/mVbUuqolno8SBXYiPj8Y.sUsWTAwhRnnckM-#9f005 (by livejournal.com)]

Burton from Montreal

The turkey didn't interact with the car. Not like the time the kamikaze woodchuck did a death rattle on the bottom of my Mustang coming back from gaming convention in Ottawa. Woke everyone in the car up.

Why kamikaze? Because the stupid woodchuck bound from the right lane to the left lane pass the car that I was in the process of passing. Was desperately trying to aim for the animal with the center line of the car. Didn't want to do a high speed rollover car trick if the woodchuck got under a tire.

After pulling into nearest service station and a long smoke break. Inspection reveals just a blood splatter on the suspension to indicate the encounter did happened. It's a good thing the Mustang got a beef-up suspension package.

My not so fond memory of the encounter with fauna on the highway.

[6-penny.livejournal.com]

You are lucky that the idiot birds are not fighting with their reflections in your windows. They can go right through plate glass sliders...happened to an acquaintance of mine.

My best woodchuck encounter was one that came barreling out of a mini golf course and rammed his head into my front hubcap. As I had been battling them for the vegetables for several years, the encounter made my day. (And I didn't make any effort to intersect, honest. Wish I could have mounted the skull on the radiator cap though....)