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kinzelWe've had a very odd few days -- a Friday run to the zoo -- except the zoo was so crowded they had no parking... and thus a visit to York Beach and environs, and a day with multiple picnic meals and a lot of driving around in Sharon's recently repaired Binjali-mobile...and we arrived home to find what I figure was the last day lily bloom of the year for us had blossomed after 9:30 in the morning, so we'd almost missed it entirely. Ah, but it was red and lovely in the sunset. Next year, perhaps, I'll move about half of the bulbs to the other side of the property to better share them with the world. Thank you for the show, flowers.
The day itself, on Friday, was a good day, with the saltwater of York Beach happy to serve up a pre-storm breeze redolent with the proper coastal scents. The walk was good, and we discovered new stores and new places to visit, and walked several beaches... a good day, but not the expected.
So, in working on the editorial changes we discover that my local working copy of the script we sent to Baen has become magnificently borked, with !sudden!new!odd! spacing, random word destruction ... almost like one of those old Microsoft macro-bombs had gotten loose.
I *think* it was over use of a search and replace term. I hope.
But, we move on, and that works goes on. It needs done soon, not only for editorial reasons, but because of change.
Elsewhere,it turns out, the world is complicated -- and change is. And so, intimations of major change as my stepfather has been falling, usually with cuts and bruises. This happens almost daily, it seems to me as I get the news late, and from different sources. It is to sigh, and to hope that a bad fall is not the order of the day, every day.
Finally it becomes clear, the fact that the old homestead, with all of the charming spaces of a house built in the '40s, the twisty staircases, the french doors with all that glass, the stairs up from the concrete patio, the wide concrete sidewalk inexorably leading down the hill (who knew *that* hill was dangerous?, that it could make someone unsteady begin to walk a littrle fast, and then to run and then fall when the stroke-slowed legs couldn't keep up? ) to the driveway, is a danger, to those within.
And oh, the hallways and the bathroom and the stairs are, it becomes clear, too narrow to update properly, perhaps too narrow even to turn a walker safely, the walls too load-bearing to just tear out to make rooms more amenable to new conditions....and the extra narrow basement stairs with the too-short treads, with a threatening single old-style handrail, those stairs between the fusebox and the folks who need the power 24/7 is inconvenient.
Even the bookcases, built lovingly floor to ceiling and still filled with the books we all read, are a danger to an unsteady old soul who might grab on and find a shelf throwing encyclopedias instead of offering stability....even the bookcases, I say, are no longer a comfort to my mother or my stepfather.
Dunno. Maybe a trip to Maryland in the near-to-mid term, as change is embraced, or at least acknowledged.
The day itself, on Friday, was a good day, with the saltwater of York Beach happy to serve up a pre-storm breeze redolent with the proper coastal scents. The walk was good, and we discovered new stores and new places to visit, and walked several beaches... a good day, but not the expected.
So, in working on the editorial changes we discover that my local working copy of the script we sent to Baen has become magnificently borked, with !sudden!new!odd! spacing, random word destruction ... almost like one of those old Microsoft macro-bombs had gotten loose.
I *think* it was over use of a search and replace term. I hope.
But, we move on, and that works goes on. It needs done soon, not only for editorial reasons, but because of change.
Elsewhere,it turns out, the world is complicated -- and change is. And so, intimations of major change as my stepfather has been falling, usually with cuts and bruises. This happens almost daily, it seems to me as I get the news late, and from different sources. It is to sigh, and to hope that a bad fall is not the order of the day, every day.
Finally it becomes clear, the fact that the old homestead, with all of the charming spaces of a house built in the '40s, the twisty staircases, the french doors with all that glass, the stairs up from the concrete patio, the wide concrete sidewalk inexorably leading down the hill (who knew *that* hill was dangerous?, that it could make someone unsteady begin to walk a littrle fast, and then to run and then fall when the stroke-slowed legs couldn't keep up? ) to the driveway, is a danger, to those within.
And oh, the hallways and the bathroom and the stairs are, it becomes clear, too narrow to update properly, perhaps too narrow even to turn a walker safely, the walls too load-bearing to just tear out to make rooms more amenable to new conditions....and the extra narrow basement stairs with the too-short treads, with a threatening single old-style handrail, those stairs between the fusebox and the folks who need the power 24/7 is inconvenient.
Even the bookcases, built lovingly floor to ceiling and still filled with the books we all read, are a danger to an unsteady old soul who might grab on and find a shelf throwing encyclopedias instead of offering stability....even the bookcases, I say, are no longer a comfort to my mother or my stepfather.
Dunno. Maybe a trip to Maryland in the near-to-mid term, as change is embraced, or at least acknowledged.
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no subject
2009-08-30 21:14 (UTC)My mother is living in a continuing care community - independent living now. (If they are staying in Maryland and own their home such that they might be able to convert you may want to look at Collington...)
http://www.collington.com/
is where I first saw the kind of place where my mother is living.
She's at one here in Illinois.
http://www.lakesatwaterford.com/
But it is hard and hard work, for you and them.
no subject
2009-08-31 12:59 (UTC)Options
2009-08-31 14:51 (UTC)http://www.ericksonliving.com/ourcommunities/rwv/rwv_contactus.asp
no subject
2009-08-31 15:55 (UTC)What we found worked best was to look at both the current situation and the long-term prognosis. For my dad, he had COPD and we knew his physical capabilities would continue a (hopefully gradual) decline. He fully participated in all of the planning, as well. Moves were planned on the assumption that support services would have to be added, and whenever possible as we moved him in we built the environment around future needs. For example we used brackets to attach all bookcases to the walls so that they would not fall down if they were grabbed onto or bumped into. We moved fragile items from tables into cabinets so they would not be knocked off accidentally. Things like that.
For my almost-father-in-law, the situation was somewhat different. He wanted to remain in his home with his wife. The environment had many of the quirks of your stepfather's home. Many things were able to be done to help him stay at home for much longer than anyone expected. For the bathroom, a shower bench was purchased -- these come in sizes to fit just about any bathroom, and are simple to set up and place. (Sample at: http://www.belmontmedical.com/catalog_i3173530.html?catId=128509 ) Also, we installed a screw-in hand held shower. (Something like: http://www.lowes.com/lowes/lkn?action=productDetail&productId=65183-2145-78530&lpage=none ) For getting around the house, there were multiple "walkers", placed on each floor, avoiding the problem of places where walkers could not be lifted or turned. For getting up and down the stairs, a chairlift was installed -- they make them now for even narrow, twisty stairs. ( http://stannahstairlifts.com/stairlifts.php )
For moving around outside the home (and sometimes inside), we found a rollator to be MUCH superior to a walker. They can be purchased with seats and baskets, and have brakes similar to bicycle brakes, which helps you control your speed on downhills. They are durable -- the one my father used heavily (including lugging his oxygen tanks on it) later was used by AFIL and is now being used by a friend who broke her kneecap recently. The most important thing to remember with a rollator is to LOCK THE BRAKES when you are not in motion. ( Something close to that model is this one: http://www.belmontmedical.com/catalog_i3336458.html?catId=129468 )
If your stepfather's decision is to move...and if a move to Maine would be contemplated...I can highly recommend the Park Danforth community -- a mix of independent living and assisted living, good access to Portland's cultural life, very active social life in the building (you must eat one meal a day in the community dining room). My parents were very happy there. ( http://www.parkdanforth.com/ )
Good wishes and may this all work out well.